The Possessed Totem Pole
by erosion
Summary: Phoebe arrives at Ross, Rachel, and Joey's apartment room with a totem pole. They figure out it's possessed. What are their reactions ? Read to find out.


**The Possessed Totem Pole**

I DO NOT OWN FRIENDS. : ' (

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Joey's Dream:

"No.. NO ! NO STUPID TURTLE DON'T COME ANY CLOSER. I HAVE.. RAEBIES !"

Joey starts poking the sleeping turtle with a stick as it begins to close out of its shell.

----

"AHHHHHHH!"

Joey screams as he wakes up.

Everyone in the house wakes up as well and run over to Joey's room.

"What's happening Joey ?"

Rachel asks angrily.

Ross comes in with a baseball bat and pillow cushions strapped to him

"WHERE'S THE BURGLAR JOEY !"

Joey sighs,

"Sorry everyone, false alarm. I had a scary dream."

Ross sits down in front of Joey.

"Tell me about it man. I had a dream that me and Rachel were having sex, but then I found out it wasn't really Rachel I was having sex with but with that lady that works at the coffee shop. She's pretty fine you know.."

Rachel slaps Ross.

"I knew there was SOMETHING going on between you and that .. babboon !"

Rachel yells as she stomps out of the room

"Rachellllll..."

Ross cries as he follows Rachel.

Joey lies down and goes back to sleep.

"Crazy people..."

----------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Joey sits at the breakfast table to be awaited by a bowl of Wheaties and a carton of milk.

He lies on one of his arms.

"Wheaties... !"

Ross walks into the room and sits at the breakfast table with a tired face.

"Hey Joey.. how doin' be you ?"

Joey looks around. He whispers,

"You ok, Ross my bud ?"

Ross sighs,

"Yeah.. Rachel was upset with me and she left.. or something."

Rachel overhears and yells,

"Ross you idiot I'm right here I didn't go anywhere !"

Ross put a smile on his face and runs over to Rachel,

"You didn't leave me !"

Joey shook his head.

"Like I said, CRRAZZZY PEOPLE."

Suddenly the doorbell rings and Joey walks over to get the door.

"Hey Joey !"

Phoebe yells happily as she brings in a totem pole into the house.

Joeys looks at her insanely,

"W-What are you doing !"

Phoebe laughs,

"Totem Pole, good luck. Yeah."

Phoebe puts the totem pole down as she walks out the door.

"Wait I got to go get the other totem poles."

Joeys looks around as he goes insane screaming,

"CRAZY PEOPLE !"

Suddenly the totem pole starts talking to him,

"You.. bring me a knife.."

Joey looks at the totem pole,

"YOU TALK ?"

The totem pole begins to shout louder,

"KNIFE. KNIFE."

Joey shook his head,

"No way ! This is worse than FURBIES UNITED."

Rachel and Ross come into the room.  
"Who are you talking to, Joey ?"

They asked with their hands on their hips.

Joey points at the totem pole,

"I-It's talking !"

Rachel laughs as she knocks on the totem pole,

"As if this thing could------"

"KNIFE KNIFE."

the totem pole says.

Rachel jumps as she kicks the totem pole over.

"OH MY GOD."

Rachel runs over to Ross who hugs her.

"I know about these things ! They are like.. totem poles with souls trapped inside !"

Ross shouts.

Joey turns around to look at Ross with a scared face,

"SO.. this thing is.. possessed ?"

Ross nods sadly,

"I'm afraid it probably is."

Phoebe comes back into the room with 3 other miniature totem poles.

"Hey everybody ! Wait.. what's my totem pole doing on the floor knocked over ?"

Phoebe asks with hands on her hips after she lay her little totem poles down.

Joey cries out,

"IT'S POSSESSED !"

Phoebe laughs,

"Oh yeah, I knew that."

Ross starts to ask questions,

"Then why'd you bring it here ?"

Phoebe whispers,

"Duh. They are good luck."

Rachel yells at Phoebe,

"Good luck ? Why is it screaming 'KNIFE KNIFE'."

Phoebe laughs,

"It's a native accent. It's actually saying 'WIFE WIFE'".

Joey glares at Phoebe,

"So it wants us.. to bring it a wife .. ?"

Phoebe nods as she places her other totem poles beside it.

"Look. This one is wife, this one is the child."

Joey, Rachel, and Ross back away from Phoebe, who was talking like.. crazy.

They all headed for the door screaming.

Phoebe looks around.

"Come on, it's just a totem pole."

Phoebe walks out of the house and locks the door.

Suddenly the totem poles start laughing.  
"Huahahahahhahaha !"

THE END

- _A SUPER QUICK AND POINTLESS STORY. JUST HOW I THOUGHT THEY'D REACT TO THIS SITUATION. REVIEW PLZ. I KNOW, IT'S PURE STUPIDITY THIS STORY. XD_


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